I know what makes him cry and I know what makes him cum. So I win.
My co-worker, on her ex. (via salveaplath)

d0gbl0g:

them free

terezidactyl:

shubbabang:

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I don’t let myself play staring contests anymore

I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS

neck kissing is honestly the hottest, most seductive thing anybody could ever do to me. if you kiss my neck, if you playfully bite my neck, if your tongue touches my neck i will melt in your fingertips.

i like being complimented on my eyebrows and on my oral sex techniques 

peniscruncher:

dusknoirs:

who was the asshole that decided tattoos looked unprofessional 

the generation that did is dying out so don’t worry

papad0c:

Queen

gottagetbacktohogwartsbrb:

My dad just came down to my room with my phone bill in his hand yelling “HOW IS THIS SO EXPENSIVE?! YOU DON’T HAVE FRIENDS!!”

ohyeselifresh:

Can i get an amen?

ohyeselifresh:

Can i get an amen?

relahvant:

relahvant:

holy shit it’s August wtf 

time flies when you’re wasting it on the internet i guess

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